LIFE AFTER TRAUMA: A WORKBOOK FOR HEALING
CONTENTS PROLOGUE BEFORE YOU BEGIN IS THIS BOOK FOR YOU? HOW THIS WORKBOOK CAN HELP YOU HOW THIS WORKBOOK IS ORGANIZED TIPS AND CAUTIONS FOR USING THIS WORKBOOK FINDING COMPANIONS: THE COMFORT OF OTHERS THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-CARE STRATEGIES AFFIRMATIONS AND SOOTHING SELF-TALK CAUTION: WHEN TO SET THE WORKBOOK ASIDE COPING WITH TRIGGERS OF PAST TRAUMAS ONE AFTER TRAUMA: WHY YOU FEEL THROWN FOR A LOOP WHAT IS TRAUMA? COMMON REACTIONS TO TRAUMA PHYSICAL REACTIONS MENTAL REACTIONS EMOTIONAL REACTIONS BEHAVIORAL REACTIONS SUPPORTIVE RELATIONSHIPS CAN CHANGE FOLLOWING TRAUMA CHECKING IN WITH YOURSELF WHY CHECK IN WITH YOURSELF? HOW TO CHECK IN WITH YOURSELF LEARNING TO RELAX TWO WAYS OF COPING AFTER THE TRAUMA TRAUMA CAN DISRUPT HOW YOU COPE IDENTIFYING YOUR WAYS OF COPING THINKING ABOUT YOUR COPING STRATEGIES GUIDELINES FOR COPING EFFECTIVELY WITH STRESS COPING WITH NEGATIVE FEELINGS ABOUT YOURSELF KNOWING HOW TO COMFORT YOURSELF KNOWING WHEN TO SELF-COMFORT: PAYING ATTENTION TO YOUR FEELINGS AND REACTIONS LEARNING MORE ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF LEARNING TO RECOGNIZE, AND USE, DISSOCIATION MANAGING EMOTIONS THROUGH MINDFULNESS STAYING SAFE OUT IN THE WORLD FEELING EMOTIONAL CONNECTION WITH OTHER PEOPLE HANDLING FEEDBACK FROM OTHERS WITHOUT BEING DEVASTATED ANTICIPATING CONSEQUENCES MAINTAINING APPROPRIATE INTERPERSONAL BOUNDARIES FINDING MUTUAL RELATIONSHIPS TIME OUT TO RELAX THREE THINKING THINGS THROUGH MAKING SENSE OF YOUR POSTTRAUMA REACTIONS SORTING FACTS FROM REACTIONS SORTING FACTS FROM MEANINGS MAKING SENSE OF BELIEFS THE TROUBLE WITH ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING HOW DO YOU THINK ABOUT THINGS? ACCOMMODATION: UNDERSTANDING HOW BELIEFS CHANGE TRAUMA AND THE FIVE BASIC NEEDS WHY IDENTIFY YOUR BASIC BELIEFS? TRACKING REACTIONS TO THEIR SOURCE IN CHANGED BELIEFS HOW TO IDENTIFY YOUR BASIC BELIEFS AND EVALUATE THEM PINPOINTING PROBLEM AREAS TO THINK THROUGH FURTHER THINKING THROUGH A BELIEF COLLECTING AND WEIGHING THE EVIDENCE ON WHAT YOU BELIEVE BRAINSTORM IDEAS FOR COLLECTING EVIDENCE RANK IDEAS BY LOWEST RISK FIRST CARRY OUT LOWEST-RISK WAYS TO COLLECT EVIDENCE WEIGH THE EVIDENCE ON WHAT YOU BELIEVE TROUBLESHOOTING WHEN BELIEFS ARE PARTICULARLY HARD TO CHANGE FACILITATING CHANGE IN BELIEFS FOUR FEELING SAFE; BEING SAFE HOW SAFETY CAN BE AN ISSUE AFTER TRAUMA IS SAFETY A PROBLEM FOR YOU? WHAT CAN SAFETY MEAN? DIMENSIONS OF SAFETY BEING SAFE WITH YOURSELF BEING SAFE WITH OTHER PEOPLE BEING SAFE OUT IN THE WORLD OTHER ASPECTS OF SAFETY WHAT DOES SAFETY MEAN TO YOU? SORTING OUT FACTS ABOUT SAFETY FROM YOUR REACTIONS HOW SAFE DO YOU FEEL? HOW SAFE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? WEIGHING THE EVIDENCE: HOW SAFE ARE YOU REALLY? STRATEGIES FOR PROTECTING YOURSELF PROTECTING YOURSELF ON THE INSIDE PROTECTING YOURSELF ON THE OUTSIDE DO YOU FEEL SAFE ENOUGH? TRACKING REACTIONS TO BELIEFS ABOUT SAFETY IDENTIFYING YOUR BELIEFS ABOUT SAFETY EVALUATING HOW A BELIEF HELPS AND HINDERS YOU TAKING STOCK THINKING THROUGH A BELIEF ABOUT SAFETY CHOOSING BELIEFS TO WORK ON SORT OUT THE FACTS, SORT OUT THE MEANING, IDENTIFY THE BELIEF EVALUATE THE PROS AND CONS OF THE BELIEF IMAGINE ALTERNATIVE MEANINGS FOR THE SAME FACTS EVALUATE THE PROS AND CONS OF THE ALTERNATIVE MEANING CONSIDER HOW TO CHECK THE ACCURACY OF THESE BELIEFS PUT THE PROCESS IN PERSPECTIVE WEIGHING THE EVIDENCE ON BELIEFS ABOUT SAFETY WHAT EVIDENCE DO YOU HAVE FOR THE EXISTING BELIEF? WHAT EVIDENCE DO YOU HAVE FOR AN ALTERNATIVE MEANING? COLLECT NEW EVIDENCE ON SAFETY BRAINSTORM IDEAS SUMMARIZING YOUR WORK ON SAFETY FIVE WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO TRUST? HOW TRUST CAN BE AN ISSUE AFTER TRAUMA TRUSTING OTHERS TRUSTING OURSELVES WHAT CAN TRUST MEAN? WHAT DOES TRUST MEAN TO YOU? TRUSTING YOURSELF SORTING OUT FACTS ABOUT TRUST FROM REACTIONS: SHADES OF GRAY DO YOU FEEL TRUSTING ENOUGH? TRACKING REACTIONS TO BELIEFS ABOUT TRUST IDENTIFYING YOUR BELIEFS ABOUT TRUST THINKING THROUGH BELIEFS ABOUT TRUST SORT OUT THE FACTS OF WHAT HAPPENED SORT OUT THE MEANING THE FACTS HAVE FOR YOU IDENTIFY THE UNDERLYING BELIEF CONSIDER HOW TO CHECK THE ACCURACY OF THE BELIEF WEIGHING THE EVIDENCE ON BELIEFS ABOUT TRUST WEIGH THE EVIDENCE ON THE EXISTING BELIEF RECORD AND WEIGH THE EVIDENCE FOR AND AGAINST THE BELIEF SUMMARIZING YOUR WORK ON TRUST SIX REGAINING CONTROL IN YOUR LIFE HOW CONTROL AND POWER CAN BE ISSUES AFTER TRAUMA LOSS OF SELF-CONTROL LOSS OF POWER TO AFFECT THE WORLD AND OTHER PEOPLE WHAT CAN IT MEAN TO BE POWERFUL AND IN CONTROL? THE SOURCES AND LIMITATIONS OF PERSONAL POWER AND CONTROL EMPOWERING YOURSELF HAVING AN EFFECT ON OTHERS BOUNDARIES HURTING YOURSELF WHAT DO POWER AND CONTROL MEAN TO YOU? PERSONAL POWER AND SELF-CONTROL UNDERSTANDING YOUR PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES UNDERSTANDING YOUR EMOTIONAL BOUNDARIES POWER, CONTROL, AND OTHER PEOPLE SYMBOLS OF YOUR PERSONAL POWER: COPING WITH FEELINGS OF HELPLESSNESS SORTING OUT FACTS ABOUT POWER AND CONTROL FROM REACTIONS: SHADES OF GRAY DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH CONTROL IN YOUR LIFE? TRACKING REACTIONS TO BELIEFS ABOUT POWER AND CONTROL IDENTIFYING YOUR BELIEFS ABOUT POWER AND CONTROL THINKING THROUGH A BELIEF ABOUT POWER AND CONTROL IMAGINE AN ALTERNATIVE MEANING FOR THE SAME FACTS WEIGHING THE EVIDENCE ON BELIEFS ABOUT POWER AND CONTROL SUMMARIZING YOUR WORK ON POWER AND CONTROL SEVEN VALUING YOURSELF AND OTHERS HOW TRAUMA CAN AFFECT SELF-ESTEEM SHAME AND SELF-ESTEEM RESPONSIBILITY, ANGER, AND BLAME WITHDRAWING FROM OTHERS VALUING OTHER PEOPLE WHAT CAN VALUE AND ESTEEM MEAN? WHAT IS OF VALUE TO YOU? THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RIGHTS AND REWARDS MONEY, POWER, AND EXPECTATIONS WHAT DOES SELF-ESTEEM MEAN TO YOU? ESTEEM FOR YOURSELF—WARTS AND ALL YOUR BILL OF RIGHTS SORTING OUT FACTS ABOUT ESTEEM FROM REACTIONS: SHADES OF GRAY DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH SELF-ESTEEM? TIME OUT FOR SELF-CARE: AFFIRMATIONS FOR SELF-ESTEEM TRACKING REACTIONS TO BELIEFS ABOUT VALUE AND ESTEEM IDENTIFYING YOUR BELIEFS ABOUT YOUR VALUE THINKING THROUGH A BELIEF ABOUT VALUE AND SELF-ESTEEM WEIGHING THE EVIDENCE ON BELIEFS ABOUT VALUE AND ESTEEM SUMMARIZING YOUR WORK ON VALUE AND SELF-ESTEEM EIGHT FEELING CLOSE TO OTHERS HOW INTIMACY CAN BE AN ISSUE AFTER TRAUMA FEELING A STRANGER TO YOURSELF FEELING DISCONNECTED FROM OTHERS WHAT CAN INTIMACY MEAN? THE RISK OF LETTING YOURSELF BE KNOWN BEING ACCEPTED; ACCEPTING ANOTHER ACCEPTING DIFFERENCES WHAT DOES INTIMACY MEAN TO YOU? SORTING OUT FACTS ABOUT INTIMACY FROM REACTIONS: SHADES OF GRAY HOW WELL ARE YOU KNOWN AND ACCEPTED? ARE YOU GETTING ENOUGH OF WHAT YOU NEED FROM INTIMACY? BALANCING INTIMACY WITH OTHER NEEDS INTIMACY AND SAFETY IN A RELATIONSHIP INTIMACY AND TRUST INTIMACY, POWER, AND CONTROL INTIMACY AND SELF-ESTEEM HOW WELL DO YOU BALANCE INTIMACY WITH OTHER NEEDS? TRACKING REACTIONS TO BELIEFS ABOUT INTIMACY SORTING OUT FACTS FROM MEANINGS: EXAMINING THE INTERACTION PROCESS IDENTIFYING BELIEFS ABOUT INTIMACY IMAGINING AND EVALUATING ALTERNATIVE BELIEFS WEIGHING THE EVIDENCE ON BELIEFS ABOUT INTIMACY SUMMARIZING YOUR WORK ON INTIMACY